Filling the Void

We are just over a week on from when I crossed the finish line in Death Valley. Badwater 135 had been a goal for a long time and now the first iteration of that is complete. I say first, because I feel I have more to give to that race. In a few years, when I believe I am ready, I will apply to race again. I do not know if I will get another chance, but I will strive to get to the start line again.

But what now?

I am very aware that any race that follows Badwater 135 will be different. If I expect something comparable I think I will be both disappointed and perhaps less motivated. Badwater 135 captivated me for years, anything else could feel like an "also ran".

That's no way to approach a season or training block - I need a new frame of reference, a different lens through which to view things. As they say, "comparison is the thief of joy" - there is no comparison to Badwater 135.

I've been waking in the night and searching for runs, 100 milers that I can tackle. I think this comes from a futile and superficial attempt to fill the void, it's a temporary solution and not one that will provide real motivation.

If I want to go back to Badwater 135 in a few years I need to be a different athlete. I need to be seeking a different result, perhaps not to complete but to compete.

I have decided I'm going to go back to Nove Colli, in fact I always intended to go back there. But I'm going to go back with a different goal - an audacious, challenging and difficult one.

I'm going to train to win Nove Colli.

So the overarching aim is still a journey (back) to Death Valley, but we are going to explore a different part of that journey. I feel excited, I feel apprehensive, I feel this will be challenging - that feels right.

I do not know if I can run fast enough, but I will only find out if I try.